Anyways, this semester has been full of ups and downs, lefts and rights and forwards and backwards... already. It's also another semester where I am busting face, just so I can come back for the next one. A cumulative GPA of a 1.9 will haunt you forever, it seems as if it will never rise above that 2.0 mark. I am making deadlines pretty well, so I feel like things will smooth out eventually. I am reading until my eyes bleed, writing until my motor skills deplete and working out until my muscles rip in half. Of course I am exaggerating a bit, but I am making sure I am keeping motivated, I'm at that point in my life that I have no other choice than to be motivated whether I want to or not. Good thing I like productivity.
All of this school stuff makes me think about what I've done until this point. What did I do (scholastically) to get me to this point? I can't think of anything. I went to school for 13 years just like any other average kid in America, but I never had one school related goal, ever. Looking back on it all I feel like I was asleep and I have just recently woken up from the longest coma ever. Have you seen the movie Click? I was on auto pilot, I think. Obviously, I remember some events I took part in, like social events, but school work? I am less than qualified to be where I am right now, I feel. Where was I all of those years? Why wasn't school important to me? I don't know, but it's weird and I have a bunch of catching up to do now. I'm just glad I "woke up".
Psalm 119:105 - 'Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.' Familiar? Yeah, I've been thinking about this verse all week. It probably has something to do with hearing it a bunch over the coarse of the week, but it's been on repeat in my mind. I like this verse. I like it because it's encouraging, but mostly I like it because it's a promise. I have had some opportunities open up in the past few weeks that I am super excited about and I couldn't have planned it for myself and I don't know what it all entails. When I say I don't know what it all entails, I know just as much as you do right now about the details; nothing. I do know that it feels good to have a little bit of direction and something to look forward to. So, this brings me to that lamp. Lamps, or lanterns give off just enough light to see directly in front of us, they don't give off miles of light, but they help us see the next step. I can't take credit for that thought, by the way. George Dillard helped me out with that one. Unfortunately, I have to be reminded that God has my back, that's the type of thing I think I should just know by now. Anywho, I have just been connecting the dots all week between what's happening in my life and that light that God keeps shedding on the steps I'm supposed to take. Knowing God thinks about us individually is a swell thing.
I'm probably going to read now. *sigh* Such is life.
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